Bipolar Bride...

For about the past week, every night I have had a nightmare. I toss and turn and wake up exhausted wondering why. Last night while watching tv and chatting about the wedding, I told Jarrett i thought it was so funny that i was stressing so much, but all my nightmares relate to the tasks, nothing to do with us. None of my nightmares have anything to do with him...or even getting married--just the little details.

Yknow when you first meet a guy and you get a lump in your throat or butterflies when you see them? You can't wait to talk to them, and don't want to call too much etc? Well, after 6 1/2 years, I don't get that feeling every time I see him. Not because I love him any less, but it's different. So as I am driving to work on Friday and thinking about our upcoming wedding i realized i had a lump in my throat at the prospect of marrying JJB. I was so excited I couldn't stand it.

So in 2 days, I've gone from crazy bridezilla to sappy excitied bride. BIPOLAR much?!

Bridezilla

i know, it's been a while. im starting to freak out. i'm turning into bridezilla. I found this from another blogger, http://sugarbabylon.wordpress.com/, and just loved it.





Oh poor Mom and Jarrett.

I've been talking to a lot of people...and when they say "when is the wedding, again?" and I reply with 2.5 weeks... their reaction is the same. OH MY.

YES, more like HOLY shit.

we have been finishing our "homework" for the minister, which is answering q's like:

• What are some of the reasons that you fell in love with Brad Pitt (aka your fiancé)? Please give examples, be thoughtful & specific.
• What attracts you to your mate? What do you find physically attractive in him?
• How did you meet? / How & when did you go from being “friends” to being a “couple” (aka tell me about the beginnings of the relationship, how you began dating).

...to finalizing flowers, deciding who sits where, final songs, programs, menus, place cards etc. Wow is this intense. I cannot wait until August 12th, when we'll be beerbbqing with our friends and RELAXING. It's pretty much been a year since I've done that for more than 2-3 days.

OH! and the nightmares... i'd hoped they wouldn't get bad. But I'm having them, every single night. Last night my mom forgot the jewelery, my hair and makeup people were drinking at the cocktail hour (which happened to be BEFORE the ceremony) and then I had a complete meltdown because we started the wedding 1.5 hours late. I think i'm losing it.

ONE MONTH!!!

holy moly batman. wasn't it just yesterday we got engaged? If fact it was one year and 2 days ago that jarrett proposed to me at La Campania.

well as of today, we are one month away (31 days) from the day i have been waiting for since i realized that i wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. (i think i realized slightly before he did, ha!) the countdown has begun.

We have a lot to do, little details to finalize...but both of us are over the moon. I find myself trying on my wedding band at least once a week and daydreaming at work about the day. I'm totally obsessed with people's pictures of other people's weddings and any good facebook wedding stalking i find ;-)

thank you all for putting up me with in advance. I cannot wait for August 16!!!!!!!!

I'm a bitch, I'm a lover..

I hate the world today

You're so good to me, I know

But I cant change

Tried to tell you but you looked at me like maybe I'm an angel underneath

Innocent and sweet

Yesterday I cried

You must have been relieved to see the softer side

I can understand how youd be so confused

I dont envy you

Im a little bit of everything

All rolled into one

So the stress of the one month mark (Thursday!) is getting to me. If one more person asks me if I'm ready, I might just scream. HAHA, i just feel like I can't keep up with all the things left to do. I started making checklists. "Wedding Day Items", "Rehearsal Checklist", "Itinerary Wedding Day"...you get the point. I think I'm narotic. I think I'm insane. I think Jarrett is going to kill me.