Tuesday, November 16, 2010

PK 11.16.09

Today's post is a solemn one. Today mark's the one year anniversary since my aunt patty's passing (and my Nana's birthday!).

I've had a strange feeling all day. I feel like I should be sad. Then I think no no, stay strong. And then I feel like I could completely lose it. But I think it's because I have this sense of longing that will probably never go away. I find myself driving home some nights and going to pick up the phone to call her the way I always did. To update her on my life, work, personal, whatever it may be. She'd then of course give me her opinion whether or not I asked for it, the best part of our conversations. And of course her laugh, after I told her some ridiculous story.

Last year was a blur, I can't remember if I told her I loved her enough. Or if I thanked her enough. So here it goes...

Thank you Aunt Pat, for your amazing ability to listen and for your countless words of wisdom. Thank you for always being there and looking out for me, and my mother. Thank you for proving sometimes you have to give your mother a hard time because that's what daughters do. Thank you for believing in love despite hardships. Thank you for your ability to stay strong in the hardest of times...to never give up hope, to always believe, and to fight. We thought we were going to lose you 18 years before we did, and the world was a better place with you in it.

And thank you, to the man above, for giving us those extra years. Thank you to Dana Farber, Hospice and all of her best friends for supporting her, John, and my family through such a difficult time. I miss you every single day.

Even death is not to be feared by one who has lived wisely.

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